Friday, July 15, 2005

Destination : US

The Srinivasan residence is one that is normally alive throughout the day, owing to self-Staggered sleep schedules; but the night before the first of july, 2005 was unusually silent, surprising not only the requently sleep abused residents of my building, but the neighbourhood dog too! The incessant barking, in tune with Bryan adams was replaced with scratching and whining, almost as if it were confused about the noise being absent and desperately needing its night-time entertainment :)

Such sweeping changes in any place is indicative of either a major event occuring or (cough, cough) the residents moving out. The former is what was ordained to happen the next day and the latter, eventually. The first of july, was a very important day in my life for a variety of reasons:

(1) It was on this day that I, Razer B - scraggy mangy tambram, broke my vows of being as obnoxious as I could be, and actually combed my hair in a way the lesser mortals do. Not used to such abuse, the keratin strands atop my scalp rebelled vigorously... But doused with tons of sticky hair-gel,they almost reluctantly stayed in place...

(2) I've never been the gentleman, 'thank'ing and 'pleas(e)'ing un-necessarily unless otherwise my daily dose of nourishment is at risk ;) but on 07/01/2005, as if on a roll, I went about greeting everyone - inside and outside the American consulate! Everyone from Onyx cleaners to the clerical attendants received generous quantities of my "Good Morning, with an almost idiotic grin spread across the landscape that was my face. I was courteous long afterwards too, much to the chargin of my mother who was driven up the wall with my "Americanised" behavioral shift so much so that; belive it or not - She threw me outta the house and told me to return when I'd rid myself of what she called - the "Visa Shock"!!!

Well, again, much to my mother's consternation, it didn't go away!!! I guess it happens to the most of us. I 'recovered' a bit after a few days, when the Srinivasan homestead was gripped with another issue - The B.E admission fiasco. Preethi, the usually confident, studious and so far illustrious student was thrown suddenly into spasms of doubt concerning her future; despite scoring a radical 91% in one of the toughest examinations in the country! Such was the condition that she had to consider options that she wouldn't have even touched with a foot long pole!

To B.E Continued...

21 things Indians do when the return home from the US :)

Sorry Fellow bloggers, I desparately wanted to update this blog... Wanted to publish my experiences Couldn't get the time out of my so far busy, but totally worthless schedule... So, here's a forward, which I thought at one time remotely fell into the catrgory of funny, in a weird way... So, feel free to check this out, in case you haven't seen it already...

An NRI does the following when he/she gets back from the US:

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and continually speaks of one's health.

19. Uses the deo so much that he doesn't need to take bath!

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks speciously at Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important things "they" do

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of the Airline by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Here Comes the Ultimate one.......

1. Tries to begin conversation with - "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."!!!!